


Please Remember Me

by QueenHimiko



Category: Slayers (Anime & Manga)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-12
Updated: 2013-05-12
Packaged: 2017-12-11 16:33:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/800811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenHimiko/pseuds/QueenHimiko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Lina's death, Gourry has to learn how to cope and find a new purpose for his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. If I Could, I Would Always Keep You Safe

**Author's Note:**

> "Slayers" belongs to the great Hajime Kanzaka and the people at Software Scupltors er Funimation. I am a college student, therefore I am poor. I am a science major, therefore I will always be for (heh, I wrote this about 11 years ago and this is old and defunct but I am still poor). As I am making no profit off of this, please do not sue me. The titles in this fic were taken from the songs "Dante's Prayer" by Loreena McKinnett and "If I Could" by October Project. Read and enjoy!

Gourry stared in pleasant surprise down at Lina who had, clear out of the blue, slide her arms through his, and was contentedly chattering away about the newest prospect for a replacement for the Sword of Light as she walked. "Since we're so close to Seyruun we might as well drop by and see Amelia while we're here, I mean, there doesn't look to be any immediate danger and it'd be a good thing to check up on Seyruun, make sure none of the royal family is in any danger or anything, may be get a bit of a reward if there is. Then we can head off to the ruins of Vladair, where they say lies a mystical sword. The one that you have now is good as a temporary measure, but only a temporary measure, because, I dunno, call it women's intuition, but I've got the feeling we've not seen the last of the monster race. At any rate, Vladair is located in…"

On and on she went, Gourry listening in and out to the bits he found important, thinking on the important bits when she went on about the location of places or how magic worked or something else beyond his grasp. It certainly would be nice to drop by Seyruun and visit Amelia, even if Lina put it under every other guise rather than merely checking up on a close friend. And as for getting him a new sword, she definitely had a point. The Sword of Light was at its home now, and Gourry was glad for it, but he couldn't very well protect Lina against monsters with the plain steel sword that he had now. He'd feel much better when he had something a little more useful, especially when he didn't know a drop of magic. Yet one thought kept sailing through the rest. She had laced her arm through his! Yes, it was a small gesture, but for Lina who seldom showed affection, it was as if she had all but kissed him! Feeling brave, Gourry took his free hand and patted her arm with it, letting it rest there. When she looked up and smiled at him rather than Fireballing him, he couldn't help but smile back. Finally, things were changing between the two of them. 

They had been the best of friends and traveling companions for, what was it now? Three? Four? Yes, four years now. They had been an unstoppable team on the battlefield, often reading each other's thoughts and moves without the need for communication. He just anticipated her strategy and backed her up on it, and it worked! They had faced down Dark Lords and monsters and bandits together, Lina the brazenly bright light that called upon the attention of those near and far, Gourry the more subtle force, never where he was supposed to be, yet hurting the enemy just as much as Lina without creating quite as much destruction as his companion. Many times death had come uncomfortably close, and when the icy hand had nearly enveloped him forever Lina had cast a spell with the destructive capacity to destroy to whole world with for him. And when, burning in the power that she had released from the spell, Lina had nearly been taken from him forever, he had braved Chaos, going farther than Zelgadis, Amelia and Sylphiel even without the magic that they possessed to claim her back. Yet they had never been lovers.

But maybe that was starting to change. May be Lina was growing comfortable with her feelings. May be now would be a good time to ask the question that had been on his mind since the defeat of Phibrizzo. He had hesitated, though, because she had been so uncomfortable with her feelings, yet she had been acting different lately, ever since Dark Star had been defeated. May be now would be a good time to ask if… _No_ , he told himself, _tonight, when we make camp, or when we reach Seyruun. Whichever comes first._

On they walked, Lina rambling on about Vladair's layout while Gourry contented himself with loosing himself in the day that was starting out so well. Of course, it couldn't last. The first sign that either of them had that something was wrong was the familiar prickling sensation of coldness, hate and death that ran through them whenever a monster was near. Sharing a quick glance, Lina quickly jumped to the left while Gourry jumped to the right, avoiding the ball of energy that was aimed at the middle of where they now stood, the place they had once been, that was now reduced to cinders.

"FIREBALL!" Lina yelled, aiming for the place from which the ball of energy had emerged from, smiling the usual smile she wore when she got to show off her magical capacities. Gourry unsheathed his sword, wishing now that he had not returned the Sword of Light to its home. His current sword was useless against a monster. The most he could do was prove a simple distraction for Lina while she chanted her spells. It was better than nothing though.

Vile laughter was heard from above, and before them appeared a spherical monster, much like the ones he had faced with Amelia and Zelgadis several years ago, except this one was a lot bigger, and rather than bearing a slick, shiny surface wore a greasy, slimy coating. "So, it appears as though my sources were correct. Good, once my task here is finished, then there will be nothing to stop me from completing my mission to destroy the world and gain my place back within the Monster Race!"

Lina didn't look very impressed, "I'm so sorry that the monster's banished you from their little club three thousand years ago, Goidbyn, but I'm afraid that I kind of like living in this world you so long to destroy so I guess I'll just have to kill you."

"Um, Lina, who’s Goidba?" Gourry asked, scratching his head.

Lina sighed, "You don't know about. . .Oh why am I surprised? Goidbyn was a monster who was banished from his race for reasons that remain a mystery till this day. It is said that he'll do any task to regain his position within the monster race, and I guess that means he's planning to return to world to the void that is Chaos in order to secure his place."

"That is correct," Goidbyn said, "And in order to make sure that my plans go smoothly, I need to make sure that the infamous monster killer Lina Inverse is out of my way. Now, enough talk! Die!" he said, hurling yet another ball of energy at them which both, needless to say, dodged easily.

"Darkness beyond twilight. . ." Lina started chanting, and Gourry knew that it was up to him to distract Goidbyn to give Lina time to finish casting the Dragon Slave. With a battle cry tearing at his throat, he charged the monster, only to be caught by surprise as a tentacle spewed forth from the creature to attack him. Gourry parried the blow, his sword not even severing the tentacle, yet effectively diverting its path away from him, only to gasp with surprise as more came at him. He thrust aside those that he could while dodging the rest of them, wishing desperately to have the Sword of Light back.

"May all the fools who stand before me be destroyed by the power you and I possess!" Lina yelled, and Gourry relaxed. This was almost over. "DRAGON SLAVE!"

More destructive than the waves of a tsunami was hard put to describe the power that was released from Lina's spell as it washed over Goidbyn, yet his maniacal laughter remained unchanged, his body undamaged, and Lina and Gourry both gaped at him in surprise as Lina let the spell die, "He's powerful enough to withstand a Dragon Slave? Oh, this is just great!"

"Silly girl," Goidbyn chided, "I thought you would have learned by now never to underestimate your enemy."

Lina chuckled, "And if you think that's the only ace up my sleeve then you've got another thing coming!"

Despite her words, Lina was not very happy with the situation. She had only two spells left that had a hope of scratching him, and those were the Ragna Blade and the Giga Slave. Lina doubted he had more power than Gaav had had, meaning that she could probably destroy him with the Ragna Blade, even if it did mean depleting her energy reserves and would leave her wounded until she could reach Seyruun for a healing spell…meaning Gourry would probably have to carry her there, embarrassing though the thought may be. And the Giga Slave, well, that was only for use when the circumstance was absolutely damned if you do, damned if you don't, and things weren't quite that bad…yet. _But if the Ragna Blade doesn't work, I won't have enough strength for the Giga Slave._

Lina brushed the thought aside. Now was not the time for indecision, now was the time for action, so they could hurry up and get this distraction over with. "Lord of Darkness of the Four Worlds," she began, calling forth her usual magical amplification spell, the amulets on her neck, wrists and waist glowing, feeding power to her that she would use to strike down her newest foe with.

As usual, Gourry didn't need to be told what his companion was doing. Once more, he charged at the monster, prepared this time for the barrage of tentacles that attacked him. Goidbyn laughed, "Ah, the Protector, you might as well give up and run. My quarrel is not with you, but with that witch you so guard. It'd be better if you didn't witness the end I've thought up for her."

Gourry grinned without mirth, "Sorry pal, but if you pick a quarrel with Lina, then you pick a quarrel with me. Besides, that girl's too stubborn to die, and I wouldn't want to face her punishment should I give up and run out on her."

"Humph, stupid human." Goidbyn said, suddenly diverting one of his tentacles from Gourry and hurling it at Lina.

"Oh no you don't!" Gourry said, jumping through the air and intercepting the tentacle, knocking it away from the sorceress and landing between Goidbyn and Lina. His lips curled into a snarl, daring the monster to just try and reach her again, driving Goidbyn back a little bit as Gourry unleashed another attack against him, fairly impressive for a man with no magical capacity and only plain steel for a sword. Another tentacle made a move towards Lina, and Gourry batted it away, only to have the tentacle curl along his sword, and then another one curl around his arms, holding him in place. Gourry twisted, trying to break free, hoping that Lina was nearly done spell casting because things were definitely starting to take a turn for the worst, and sure enough he heard her chant, ". . .Power that can smash even the souls’ of the Gods! RAGNA BLADE!"

Her arms raised high over her head, Lina felt the familiar spark of energy that grew between her hands and solidified into a void of energy, the Sword of Chaos and Darkness. With a gleam in her eye that promised death to her enemy, she looked up to see how the fight between Goidbyn and Gourry went. Her eyes widened and her heart leapt into her chest as she saw Gourry pinned by a mass of tentacles with one speeding for a deathblow aimed straight at his head.

"Gourry. . ." she breathed, and then charged, singing a battle cry of her own as she struggled to make it in time and to control the sword of chaotic energy held within her hands, leaping high into the air, bringing the sword down, directing her fall between Gourry and Goidbyn. . .Gourry looked up at the sound of Lina's battle cry and gasped as he saw the tentacle headed straight for him. There was nothing he could do, pinned as he was, and while he felt a stab of regret over all the things left undone, at least he had managed to protect Lina and had given her enough time to complete the Ragna Blade and. . .He felt his heart flip in his chest as she directed her attack to the tentacle, felt his heart sank as he realized she wouldn't be able to direct the Ragna Blade between herself and the tentacle before it reached him, but she could put herself between them. "Lina. . ." he breathed, and then shouted, "Lina, no!"

Too late. With renewed urgency he fought against the tentacles holding him in place as the tentacle ripped through her chest. She screamed and the Ragna Blade flickered for a moment, and for a heart pounding second Gourry feared it would dissipate, but it didn't. Somehow, Lina had managed to keep control of it and slowly she continued forward to use it against Goidbyn. One by one, the tentacles unsnaked themselves from Gourry and went towards Lina, though he picked up his sword and tried with all his might to keep them away from her. Finally, she reached Goidbyn, and brought the Sword of Darkness down upon him, relieved as it cleaved his body more easily than it had Gaav's. Her relief was only temporary, however, as she suddenly felt her body being stabbed repeatedly by Goidbyn even as she slowly but surely sliced him in two.

She hit the ground hard, rolling to her side, the blood draining out of her from numerous wounds as Goidbyn's scream echoed on the waves of his destruction at having been so close to achieving his goal, only to be defeated by a mere girl. Well, at least it seemed as though he had taken her with him.

"Lina!" Gourry yelled, his heart in his throat as he ran to her side, turning her over to assess her wounds. Blood gleamed through her teeth as she smiled at him, "Victory." She breathed, though her hands were desperately working on trying to cast a Recovery spell on herself. Her energy was draining fast, though, but if she just rested, she knew she could pull through.

Gourry was not so convinced, "Lina, what did you do? I'm the protector, you're my charge, get it right next time!" he said, the pain in his voice belaying the harsh tone of his words, "Don't you know how I'd feel if anything happened to you on my account?" he whispered.

Lina looked up at him, surprised at the pained expression on his face, did she really look so bad? "Didn't you ever think that all this time you were protecting me may be I was protecting you as well?" She coughed suddenly, her body shaking and Gourry, feeling unbearably helpless, stripped off his shirt, tearing it to ribbons to dress her wounds with. It was obvious even to him that her Recovery spell wasn't working. Softly yet firmly she continued, "Besides, it's my own fault if I decide to get all heroic and sacrificial, not yours, and don't you forget it or I might just have to beat it into you!"

Despite her words, which sounded enough like Lina that Gourry was at least confident that she was lucid, he knew she was not in good shape. Oh, where were Sylphiel and Amelia when you needed them? Amelia. Amelia was in Seyruun, or hopefully she was. She might have been sent out on some diplomatic mission, but even then Seyruun was the White Magic Capital. Surely someone there would be able to do that on spell that Sylphiel had performed on Lina when they had been fighting that Copy Rezo/Zannafar guy. That was it! He had to get Lina to Seyruun and he had to get her there now!

With this new plan in mind, he hastily finished dressing her wounds as best he could and lifted her into his arms. It never ceased to amaze him how someone had managed to pack so much power and energy into someone as small and weightless as Lina. "Gourry?" she asked, her voice sounding ages away.

"Just hang on, Lina, I'm going to get you to Seyruun." He said, hoping that his voice projected the confidence that he did not feel. He could not remember a time when he had been so scared, not even when she had been injured fighting Copy Rezo. Sylphiel had been there to take care of her then. But now Sylphiel was nowhere near, and Amelia was close, but was she close enough? How far away were they from Seyruun anyway? Holding her close to him, he ran with all his strength down the road they had been taking to Seyruun. Getting there was the only thing that mattered now, all he had to do was get there.

Lina started coughing again, and Gourry felt her body spasm reflexively, and then felt a piece of him being torn apart as she started to go lax in his arms. "No!" he said, "You've never given up before! Never! You were always too stubborn to! Don't Lina, please, stay." Despite his words he could feel that he was losing her, "Please Lina, stay…I need you."

He wasn't even sure if she heard. All he knew was that the girl with whom he had faced down Dark Lords and monsters and all kinds of terrors with and had always come out the better for it, the woman that he had grown to love, had gone lax in his arms, her once light weight a leaden one in his arms and in his heart.


	2. When the Dark Night Seems Endless

Seyruun. Funny how his travels had brought him here. The Outerworld had proved of little use in finding anything that might cure his curse, and Zelgadis had decided to take up the offer Amelia had extended three years ago and search here for his cure. Not that Amelia being a princess of Seyruun had anything to do with it. He wasn't even expecting to see her, he'd be so busy with his research, and she'd be busy with her official duties. No, Amelia being here had nothing to do with his ending up here at all. With a sigh, he set off to the gates, only to stop as his sensitive ears picked up the sound of heavy, desperate footfalls.

He turned, and felt disbelief set in as he saw Gourry Gabriev running as though the world depended on it towards Seyruun, his face a ghostly mixture of pain and fear marred by the trail of his tears. In his bare arms stained with blood was the limp body of a sorceress who had always seemed determinedly indestructible. He shook his head to clear it, not believing his eyes, not wanting to believe his eyes. "Gourry!" he yelled.

So caught up in his desperation to get Lina to Seyruun, Gourry had not even noticed Zelgadis running towards them as he approached it. Relief began to fill the swordsman. Zelgadis knew magic, Zelgadis could help her where he could not, frustrating though it was. He, not Zelgadis, was her protector, but he couldn't afford to let pride stop him from doing what needed to be done, and it was with relief that he called out to the shaman, "Zel, help her!"

Zelgadis was in a slight state of shock. Never before had he heard such piercing desperation in the swordsman's voice. Yet that desperation also moved him into action, "RAY WING!" he called, a bubble of wind enveloping Lina, Gourry and himself and with speed he directed it towards Seyruun.

That done, he turned his attention towards Lina and felt the familiar pangs of despair creep over him. "You can heal her, right?" Gourry asked, sounding so childlike as he took Lina's hand while trying not to think about how cold it was.

Quickly, Zelgadis felt for a pulse but found none. Already her skin had gone grey. Recovery would definitely be useless, as the one being healed had to supply their own energy for it, and Lina had no energy left to give. Resurrection might be able to do it, though Zelgadis was fairly certain that she was too far gone even for that spell, and even if she weren't White Magic had never been his specialty, meaning that the Resurrection spell was out of his grasp. But how could he explain this to Gourry?

"It's beyond my abilities." Zelgadis said, his throat constricting, "We've got to get her to Amelia."

Gourry's next move surprised Zelgadis. His blue eyes set in a determined manner that was seldom seen, he locked his hands together and effectively slammed them against Lina's chest. He then tilted her chin, leaning down to breath air into her before sitting back up to hit her chest again. "Breath, Lina, please, breath…" he muttered all the while. Zelgadis watched, amazed. Where had an idiot like him learned and, more importantly, how had he managed to remember how to perform CPR? Well, someone as skilled in swordplay as Gourry probably had a few more tricks up his sleeve as well. May be it would help.

In a slight daze with the full reality of the situation not fully closing in on Zelgadis, he directed them towards the palace and frowned, wondering where in the palace Amelia would be. Desperately, his eyes searched through the large glass windows, hoping to catch a glimpse of the raven haired justice fighter, and had never been so surprised in his life when at last he did.

* * *

 

Princess Amelia Wil Tesla Seyruun finished her closing remarks and dismissed the council. It had been a long session, but justice had been served, and that had made it worth it. Tired though she was, she knew her work here was important, the thought alone being the only thing that drove into her the necessity of hurrying off to one more meeting, that and the knowledge that it would definitely be the last meeting of the day. Oh, the Duke of Hubern was insufferable, but Amelia had a way of getting him to see reason when diplomats could not, and trade would suffer without the Duke's support, ultimately leading to the suffering of her people, and she would not stand for that.

Still, it wouldn't hurt if she took a little time off. Sighing, she turned to stare out into the palace gardens, a sight that she never tired of. It was always so peaceful, so comforting, so…What was that in the sky? Amelia squinted, confused. A ball of something was headed straight towards the palace. Where they under attack? Surely not. Seyruun was a peaceful kingdom, and as it was power was equally balanced among all the kingdoms, due largely to the efforts of her father who was greatly admired wherever he went. Why would someone want to attack Seyruun?

Yet someone who had grown up among royal intrigue and plotting within the family knew better than to be blinded when the possibility of danger was near. Backing away from the window, she cried, "BALUS WALL!"And just in time. Not two seconds later the window had shattered throwing glass and debris everywhere. Amelia readied a Fireball, only to let it die as it registered just who had come into the palace. "Mr. Zelgadis? Mr. Gourry?" she gasped suddenly, the color draining from her face as she saw Lina, now being cradled by Gourry, lying unnaturally still and limp, dressed in Gourry's blood-soaked shirt. "Oh, Miss Lina." She whispered.

"Amelia, help her!" Gourry commanded, his voice rising to nearly hysterical levels. His administrations of CPR had seemed to have taken no effect. Amelia didn't even have to be told. Already she was beside him, her hands spread out over the sorceress and chanting the verses to the Recovery spell, even though in her heart she knew it was too late. She had to try, though. She had to! It was Lina, after all, and Lina would never stand to hear about anyone giving up without a fight. Besides, Amelia had promised herself she would never stand by helplessly as someone she cared about died again. Never, never!

Energy glowed under her hands and enveloped Lina as Amelia drew life power from the beings nearby, from Gourry and Zelgadis, from herself and the other Seyruun citizens and directed them to healing Lina. Frantically, she searched the plains of the Otherworld for some sign of Lina's existence. Lina wouldn't die without putting up a fight, she'd hang on for all it was worth, but if she had been gone for too long even someone as stubborn as Lina wouldn't be able to return to her body. She'd merely be animated by the life energy, much like Rubia was. Tears stung Amelia's eyes as she found no trace of the woman who had become a surrogate sister to her, who had showed her that the world was not quite as black and white as Amelia had taken it to be, who had served as an inspiration to the cause of justice, even if Lina's definition of justice was a little whacked out. Yet to no avail. Lina was nowhere to be found. Amelia screamed as she stepped up the search, desperate to pull Lina back, only to collapse from sheer exhaustion. She couldn't do it. Failure set in hard on her as she felt the tears well up inside of her. May be if Lina had gotten here sooner…But she couldn't tell Gourry that. Gourry would blame himself for not being fast enough, just as Amelia blamed herself for not being strong enough.

Slowly, she lifted herself up, and felt a comforting hand on her shoulder. She turned to look up at her father, who stared at the cold body that had once belonged to the most powerful sorceress in the world, his eyes blazing with fury born of sorrow. It was hauntingly like the scene after her mother's assassination…Trembling, Amelia brought herself to look at Gourry, who was holding Lina's hand, his eyes lost and staring. "Mr. Gourry," she breathed, "I'm so sorry, may be if I had been more powerful…"

"May be if I had been a better protector." He said, his voice in a manner that she had never heard before.

"Now I don't want to hear any more of that from any of you kids." Prince Philionel said. Zelgadis and Gourry looked up with a start. Like Amelia, they had not noticed his entrance, which was rather mystifying as a man as big and loud as Prince Philionel was rather hard to miss. "Do you think that Miss Lina would want the three of you sitting here taking the blame for her death? Did any of you hand to her the blow that killed her? Of course not! Why she'd come down and berate you all thoroughly if she knew you were doing this rather than finding some sort of meaning to her death."

"But her deathblow was meant for me." Gourry whispered. The reasonable part of him had found some sense in Philionel's words, but the emotional part had not. He had failed in the job that had meant the most to him, the job of being Lina's protector. If he had succeeded he'd be dead instead of her, and he'd have rather it been that way. He'd rather she be living and safe with him gone rather than dead with him here. But he had failed. _I'm sorry Lina._

Zelgadis turned to stare out of the window, while Amelia laid a hand on Gourry's shoulder. Philionel tried to keep the rage he was feeling at the injustice of it all inside. He had to be strong and controlled for now, because losing control would not benefit Amelia, Zelgadis and especially Gourry. "She has saved the Kingdom of Seyruun, and so she will receive the funeral rites accorded to such a heroine. But first we must make sure that the evil that killed her no longer brings harm to other innocents! If we just sit by and do nothing…"

"She took care of that," Gourry said, his voice flat, "She took him with her." Even the duty of avenging her death was taken from him. _What do I do now, Lina?_

For once, Philionel was at a loss for words. He had to get the kids out of here before he lost it in front of them, had to remain cool for just a little bit longer until they were as settled as they could be for the night, "Well, then, I think that the three of you should get some rest. You two boys do remember where your rooms are from your last visit?"

Zelgadis nodded, Gourry just stared at Lina. "Well then, get some rest and once the shock clears we'll discuss what to do then. Amelia." He said gently, helping her to stand up, her legs shaky with grief and overexertion from performing Resurrection. Quietly, he led Amelia from the room, dreading the task before him of preparing the funeral rites for a sorceress whose skills were indispensable and nursing three kids through their grief while trying to reign in on his own.

Once he had left, Zelgadis took a deep, shuddering breath, trying not to think about the woman who had been one of the rare people who could get him to crack a smile, one of the first people to see past his stony features and treat him like a human. Heck, she even had an intellect that rivaled his, particularly in the fields of Black Magic, history and strategy. Who else could he converse with that might provide insights into his search for his cure and understand why he still felt driven to find it, even if he had come to realize that he wasn't a freak anymore? And who else could he count on to just be a friend?

Zelgadis turned around and forced himself to stare at the scene before him. It hurt to see someone who had been so vivacious looking so empty and cold, and to see someone else who had always been so carefree and happy looking weighed down and miserable. He was tempted to just walk away and find his room to suffer his grief in private but he couldn't leave Gourry like this. He had to help him, but helping people in this manner was not something that came naturally to him. After withering over his conflicting thoughts on what to do, he walked over and clasped Gourry on the shoulder, "Come on, there's nothing you can do for her now. Phil's right, some rest would do you some good. Lina wouldn't want you to waste your strength. Gourry?"

Gourry's fists clenched. He did not want to leave her. He knew that leaving her would be the first step in acknowledging that she was really gone, gone forever and that nothing he could do would bring her back. He would be doing the very thing that Lina preached against: accepting defeat. "Gourry," Zelgadis said a bit more forcefully, "Lina wouldn't like it if you spent the rest of your life sitting here mourning. Come on, let's go."

Gourry shuddered with the knowledge that Zelgadis was right. Gathering the remnants of his courage and strength, he shakily got to his feet, nodding his thanks to Zelgadis. Head bowed, he followed the shamanist swordsman out of the conference room and to his guestroom. He had thought he would not sleep well at all, yet as soon as he laid down on the bed, shock claimed him, dragging him into a sleep fraught with nightmares, the images of Lina being pierced repeatedly by Goidbyn burning in his head.


	3. When You Feel As if You Simply Can't Go On

Amelia felt drained when she woke up the next morning. Unbidden the gruesome images of the previous night filtered through her memories and the ache in her heart expanded beyond the bursting point. Tears streamed down her face as she clutched tightly to the blankets around her, tempted to let the day's tasks go untouched. The temptation did not last, however. Seyruun needed their ruler, even if that ruler had just lost her best friend. Zelgadis needed someone to open up to, even if he wouldn't admit it. And Gourry…Amelia felt a fresh wave of tears well up inside of her as she remembered the feelings of grief and guilt that the swordsman had displayed the previous night. It wasn't hard for Amelia to tell just how much Gourry loved Lina, how seriously he had taken his job as her protector, even though she had had no need of one. Amelia could only imagine the magnitude of the waves of pain and loss that were tearing through him, waves that could consume and drown him. Yes, Gourry needed his friends, including her, to help him through this, meaning that it was prudent that she get up and start the day.

Shakily she got to her feet and walked over to the water basin, musing over how such a terrible thing could befall to a Hero of Justice and how such pain could be brought to one of the kindest men that she knew. While she no longer held such naïve views about the workings of the world, it still ceased to defy her grasp of understanding how bad things could befall to good people…people that she cared about. She wondered how many more scenes of death would be played before her as she poured the water from the pitcher to the basin, scrubbing her face more viciously than usual. After toweling her face dry, she hurried to her wardrobe, searching for her traveling clothes. Once found, she was slightly distressed to see that during the time between the death of Dark Star and this latest incident, she had outgrown them. Funny how she had managed to get all of her other things tailored except for these. She simply had thought she'd never go on any adventures again. As she grew up, so did the responsibilities that she was required to take on, and she simply could not afford to take off on random adventures. Still, if she had gone on one last adventure, just to say goodbye to a former life style, might she have been there to save Lina when she had been attacked? Might she not have been forced to say goodbye to a best friend?

 _That's the past, think about the future!_ Amelia shook her head to clear her thoughts and dressed in the simple white robes of a shrine maiden rather than the elaborate stylish dress of a princess. Not really caring to tidy her hair, she stepped out of her room and into the hallway, surprised to find Zelgadis sitting on a bench outside her door.

"Mr. Zelgadis?" she asked, "You were keeping watch?"

Zelgadis shook his head, "Didn't care much for my room." He muttered.

"Oh," Amelia said, surprised. After her father's assassination attempt two years ago, her friends had been given rooms close to the royal family so that they could serve as bodyguards, meaning that the rooms were more elaborate than those usually given to guests. As an extension of gratitude and to show that the gates of Seyruun were always open, they had been allowed to keep the rooms. That Zelgadis, who had been known to have rather Epicurean tastes, disliked them was puzzling. She'd have to look into getting his room changed…later, when the first task of the day was over with.

"What happened?" Amelia asked, assuming that as Zelgadis was with Lina and Gourry when the three had arrived at the palace that he must have been traveling with them.

Zelgadis shrugged, "I was on my way to Seyruun to do some research to find my cure. When I got to the gates I saw Gourry running frantically with Lina in his arms. I knew it was too late for her, but I tried…"

He let the words die off, but Amelia nodded in understanding. He had to try to get her here, just as she had had to try Resurrection, just because it was unthinkable that the most stubborn woman in the world would let go of her hold on life.

"Has he left his room?" Amelia asked, staring at Gourry's room.

"He went into Lina's room shortly before you came out. He's still there."

"Poor Mr. Gourry," Amelia said, "We have to talk to him, show him that we're here for him to help him through this!"

Zelgadis shifted uncomfortably, somehow knowing that this was going to be the very thing that Amelia would suggest, "I'm not very good at supporting people."

"You don't have to say or do anything, just come with me and listen while I talk to him, show him that you're there to help him through this! Right now Mr. Gourry needs his friends, and it would be unjust to let him suffer alone."

Zelgadis felt himself trembling. As it was the emotional atmosphere in the hallway was too tense for him, never mind what the tension in Lina's room would be like. He wasn't sure if he trusted himself to hold up under it. What he really wanted was to be left alone, bury himself in his research, but he couldn't leave his newfound friends like this. Lina wouldn't forgive him for it, and Amelia and Gourry had both been kind to him when he usually found kindness lacking from people. A part of him wished for the ease to reach out and comfort people that Amelia possessed so that he could do more, another part of him wished to return to being the Heartless Mystical Swordsman so he could shrug Amelia and Gourry off along with the pain of Lina's death and leave all this behind. But he couldn't do that, and Amelia was right. The least he could do was listen and show his friendship by being there for Gourry. Slightly, he nodded his head before he got up to his feet and stared at Amelia. For the first time that day, she cracked a small smile, and together they headed off to Lina's room.

* * *

 

Even though she had not stayed here often, Lina's presence seemed to permeate the room. Lina had had it specifically made known that no one was to touch her room even to clean it while she was gone, on the principle that if she was going to have a place that she could call home, it should at least look as though it belonged to her. Sure enough, the bed was unmade, the couch-cushions strewn about everywhere except the couch, with socks scattered here and there. No wonder they had to stop by every town they saw to pick her up a new pair!

Something on the floor by Lina's nightstand caught his eye, and he walked over to pick it up. It was a leather bound book, probably the one she had pouted over forgetting to pack, yet had not been important enough or interesting enough to turn back around to Seyruun to go back for. She'd probably knocked it off the nightstand in her sleep, she had always tossed and turned so according to Amelia, and had not noticed it in the morning. Carefully, Gourry opened the book, not too surprised to find it was in a language he had no means of deciphering. It was probably about Black Magic or history then.

He closed the book with a sigh, fingering it a bit. She had always been so smart. She had always known what to do when things got bad because she knew everything about anything! Not only did she know everything, but she also knew how to combine data, find the important bits and forget the extraneous stuff, she was a genius! Magic, strategy, history, the good old mystery were all toys to her, she knew everything about them, she knew everything…Did she know how much he loved her?

From his door came a knock that shattered his thoughts. Gourry ignored it, wanting to be left alone to his grief and to bask in what the woman he had loved had left behind. As if in defiance of his silence, however, the door opened, and in walked Amelia with Zelgadis close behind. Amelia's eyes brimmed with tears of sorrow and sympathy as she looked at Gourry, and Gourry realized that he must have looked a mess. He'd not bothered with showering or changing into some fresh clothes, such matters seemed rather trite now. Despite the fact that he was stained with blood, Amelia walked up to him and threw her arms around him, "Oh, Mr. Gourry, I'm so sorry."

Gourry returned her embrace, thankful somewhat for the contact. Besides, Amelia was hurting too, and she probably needed the contact as much as himself. That, and no matter what, you always helped out a lady when she needed it. It was easier, comforting Amelia or just showing brotherly displays of affection with her. Lina had seldom let him close enough for brotherly displays, never mind anything more than that, displays that he would have rather shared with her. All he had was the memory of returning with Lina from Chaos, returning from certain death with Lina snuggled comfortably in his arms so quiet and peaceful, with it seeming so natural to be holding each other that he had not wanted to wake up. He had wanted to hold onto her forever, and may be if Zelgadis, Amelia and Sylphiel had not been watching he would have, and maybe she would have as well. Instead, they had both panicked, Lina more so than himself, but he had panicked.

But something had to have happened in Chaos, something wonderful for them to have woken so, yet try as he might Gourry could not recall what. Yes, he was not bright, and yes he had a hard time remembering names and places, but he remembered events, even if he couldn't remember the words to describe them, and he definitely remembered potent events, and he knew that ordinarily he would remember something that would have led to Lina and himself being so comfortable with each other, comfort they had never achieved again until Goidbyn had showed up and ruined it all.

Sobs of regret over things left unsaid and undone ran through him as he found himself gripping more tightly to Amelia while she soothed him, murmuring words he did not hear yet sounded nice nonetheless. After awhile he pulled away, drying his eyes, staring at her. She had grown to be a very tall young woman, definitely taller than Lina, probably taller than Sylphiel! It would have been interesting, seeing Lina and Amelia together now that the younger woman was taller than her. Lina would have hated it, she was always so uncomfortable with her looks. Just once he should have told her how beautiful she was…

"What happened?" Amelia asked. Gourry responded with silence, and Amelia sat beside him, putting an arm around his shoulder, "I know it’s difficult now, but you have to talk about it to heal, and you'll feel better once you do." She bit her lip for a moment before adding, "Believe me, Mr. Gourry, I know…I've been there."

Slowly at first, Gourry recounted Lina's last epic battle with Goidbyn, a retelling that increased in its magnitude and fury until he got to the point where Lina had stolen his deathblow. He stopped, the images of her fatally wounded yet continuing to advance on Goidbyn anyway blindingly bright, preventing him from finding the words to even describe them. He felt tears leak from his eyes again and Amelia held him tighter, already figuring out the end. "It wasn't your fault, Mr. Gourry!" she said fiercely.

"No, it wasn't!" Zelgadis said, stepping away from his corner despite the tense atmosphere that pervaded the room, "She was the one who put herself between Goidbyn and you…"

"Are you saying it's her fault, then?" Gourry spat.

"No!" Amelia cried, "He's saying that she knew full well what she was doing! She was protecting you from him, because she wanted you to go on living your life, just as you wanted her to continue hers. You would have done the same in her position! It's Goidbyn's fault for using such devious tricks to maneuver the two of you into such an unjust position!"

"But I was her protector, I promised her I'd protect her for the rest of her life! Besides," he added silently, "she was my life. What do I do now that she's gone?"

"Well," Zelgadis said, "What did you do before you protected Lina?"

"Protected the Sword of Light from my family, and my family from the Sword of Light." Gourry replied, "And the sword has been returned to its home now, and I can't go to mine, or else my family will kill me on sight for running away with the Sword of Light, even if it was to protect it."

Amelia and Zelgadis shared a stunned expression. Gourry had stolen the Sword of Light? Amelia filed the thought aside, "You can stay in Seyruun as a royal bodyguard, or you can travel with Mr. Zelgadis."

Gourry shook his head. He loved traveling too much to give it up just yet, even if he no longer had a companion alongside him. And despite Amelia's offer, he knew Zelgadis would not appreciate his company on his travels and Gourry felt rather firmly that Zelgadis should stay in Seyruun with Amelia. When would that guy wake up and realize how lucky he was before it was too late?

"I'd actually like to be alone right now," Gourry said, not wanting to shove his friends out, but feeling it prudent that he did. The overwhelming need to be alone had suddenly soared to new heights, "Wash up, may be get something to eat, you know…"

Amelia looked at him, heart stricken for a moment at the thought that her efforts were doing more harm than good. Zelgadis put his hands on her shoulders, jostling her to the present, "We'll be going then. I'm sure that Amelia will have someone send up something for you to eat."

Gourry nodded, knowing that for the first time in his life he really wasn't that hungry, "Thanks, I appreciate it." He said.

"If there's anything we can do, just let us know." Amelia said, standing up and turning to follow Zelgadis out of the room.

Gourry nodded numbly, "I will."He did not relax until the door was closed and he could go back to mourning his sorceress in private.

* * *

 

"Princess?" a messenger beckoned.

"Yes?" Amelia asked, barely looking up from the final preparations for Lina's funeral that was to take place that day.

"One Sylphiel Nels Rhada has arrived and has asked to speak with you. May I show her in?"

Amelia felt some relief set in that was uncommon when someone brought news of the Shrine Maiden's appearance. Not that Amelia disliked Sylphiel, on the contrary, she admired and respected her a great deal, but she had known that Sylphiel had had feelings for Gourry. Strangely, even though Sylphiel knew of Gourry's feelings for Lina, and Lina's feeling for Gourry, she had not let that stand in the way of their friendship, and strangely enough neither had Lina. When Amelia had first met Sylphiel she had been certain that fights would be inevitable, yet they never seemed to materialize, and as Sylphiel's crush waned, so did the tension that Amelia felt around her. And now, Amelia was extremely glad that she was here. Sylphiel was extremely emphatic and surely she could help Gourry find some direction to his life now. "By all means, show her in!"

Not two minutes later, Sylphiel all but darted into the room, gripping Amelia by the shoulders, "Please, tell me it’s not true, it can't be, Miss Lina, she can't!"

Amelia lowered her eyes, hating to be the bearer of bad news, "Her funeral is this afternoon."

Sylphiel gasped as she sank to her knees, tears filling her emerald eyes, and Amelia stooped down to hug her. "I came as soon as I heard the rumors, but I didn't believe them. She was too strong to die."

Amelia nodded in agreement, those same words had been spoken many a time in response to her death. It still did not seem possible, yet no matter how many days past Lina still remained dead, and Gourry still remained all but inconsolable. "Let’s have some tea, Miss Sylphiel, we have a lot to talk about."

* * *

 

"Come in," Gourry said as his straightened the black suit that they had finally found for him. There were not many men as tall as he floating around Seyruun, and black was such an uncommon color there anyway…

"Gourry, dear!" a voice cried, and Gourry turned around, surprised to see Sylphiel, her eyes red and tear stained, in the doorway, "I'm so sorry!" she said, walking over to hug him, which he returned, unsure as to how he felt about having her here. He was tired of people telling him it wasn't his fault and how things would get better with time. None of that changed what had happened.

Gourry pulled away and looked back out at the window, "So, what have you been up to?" He asked, desperate to keep the topic away from Lina's death.

Sylphiel went over to sit on the couch, picking up on Gourry's need to focus on something else for awhile, even if she would have to turn to a topic he was dreading, "The rebuilding of Sairaag has come along well. Working to replant Flagoon has kept me busy, that and overseeing the rebuilding of the temple. In my spare time I've been seeing one of the new city managers."

Gourry smiled, and even though it did not reach his eyes, his sincerity was not in doubt, "I'm happy for you Sylphiel." And he was. She had been a sweet girl who had come upon a lot of misfortune. He had felt guilty at times, not being able to return her feelings, especially when his own feelings for Lina were blossoming at the time, yet he also knew that with time that she would outgrow her crush, and it appeared now as though she had.

Sylphiel managed a weak smile at his words. Yes, things had been going well indeed until the news of Lina's death had reached Sairaag. Sylphiel was still reeling from the news, yet she was used to having to pick up the pieces while dealing with dangers on her tail far worse than a grieving man. Once Gourry was taken care of she could grieve over the loss of her friend, but right now she needed to worry about the one who was still living. "So what about you?" she asked, "What will you do now?"

Gourry shrugged, the feeling of dread returning. The future was too much to think about without having Lina there in his life. He had been fully prepared to spend the rest of his life going where she went, protecting her. He had meant what he said two years ago, and he had never thought about spending the rest of his life any other way. "Don't know."

Sylphiel nodded. Amelia had explained a lot of it to her, yet even without Amelia's information Sylphiel could have figured it out easily. Sylphiel had always had a knack for figuring out people, what their plans and motives were, what they liked and disliked, and what ideals and beliefs motivated them. Gourry's adherence to the principles of chivalry had been what had driven her close to him in the first place. Losing Lina would have been a blow to such ideals, yet there was still something that could be done that would call on Gourry's chivalrous nature, something that would hopefully help him in the long run, "Did Miss Lina have any family?"

Gourry bit his lip, her question taking him off guard. "She had an older sister, the knight of some God who also has to work as a waitress. Lina was terrified of her for some strange reason. I think she lives with Lina's parents in that town where all the wine comes from. I dunno, she didn't talk about home much, but then she really wasn't the type for attachments."

"Then I think that you have an obligation to them." Sylphiel said.

Gourry turned to stare at her, "Obligation?"

"They deserve to know how their daughter died from the one who was with her at the time of her death." Sylphiel said.

Gourry turned the thought over and over, and it made sense. Yes, Lina's family had a right to know how she died, and they needed to hear it from him not only because he was there, but because he had also failed in protecting her. He needed to hear their judgment. "You're right." Gourry said, "Thank you, Sylphiel."

* * *

 

"So, I guess this is goodbye." Gourry whispered as he stared at the tombstone that marked the place where the greatest sorceress in the entire world was now buried. It was solid mass of pink garnet with the name "LINA INVERSE: BEAUTIFUL SOCERY GENIUS" carved into it that caused Gourry's hands to clench into fists at the reminder that Lina was down there below it, away from the sun and the light, away from the life she had so loved. It wasn't fair!

He took a deep, shuddering breath, not bothering to fight back the tears. He'd wept openly throughout the funeral, especially when Prince Philionel had detailed how Lina had saved Seyruun, and then Amelia had made her tribute speech to Lina, a speech to the friend she had been, the side of her people seldom saw, rather than the Dragon Spooker side that had made her so infamous. The funeral had drawn a considerable crowd, and Gourry was glad for it. It would have made Lina happy to know that so many people would miss her, yet one by one they had all left, leaving Gourry alone with Amelia, Zelgadis and Sylphiel. Finally he had asked to be left alone, to say his goodbyes in private and they had thankfully left him.

He looked down at the bouquet of crimson red roses he had brought with him. Crimson red…the color of her hair and eyes, the color of the destructive energy released whenever she would cast her overkill Dragon Slave spell, the spell that had clued him into the fact that may be she was not your everyday fifteen year old runaway sorceress, the color of her traveling outfit, even her Demon's Blood Talisman. The color of her temper, the color of her cheeks when a blush would spread across them, usually in response to his expressed concern over her. What better color for Lina than crimson red? Gourry hoped she would have liked them. He also hoped that the rose was the flower she had seen when looking into the future. He'd never asked her what it was, but her answer to Copy Rezo's question had always befuddled him, befuddled him enough that even a man with a memory as slippery as his remembered it. All he could do now was hope it was the rose.

With the knowledge that he would stop by this way many times during his travels to see that fresh ones were put on her grave, he gently laid the flowers across the fresh mound, knowing that he had done all that he needed to here and that he had to leave now. Saying goodbye was proving even harder than he could ever have imagined, but in the end with an enormous force of will he managed to say, "I have to go now, visit your family. I'll be back, though. Soon."

He took a deep breath, trying to rid himself of the knot in his throat and chest, "I guess that it's a little late to say it now, but I'm going to. I love you, Lina, and nothing that happens can change that, even if you're gone now. Even if you hadn't returned my feelings, that didn't matter, because I was with you, and that was enough. But now you're gone…I miss you." Somehow, it had seemed as though he had meant to say more, but he couldn't. He had to leave, now, or he never would. With shoulders back and back straight, he turned and walked away from his past and into his future.


	4. Please Remember Me

It was strange traveling without Lina. Sure, he'd traveled without her before he had met her and could fend for himself well enough on his own, but he had traveled with Lina consistently for the past four years and getting used to being on his own again was proving difficult. It was strange not sitting up half of the night keeping watch over her, gazing at her as she slept and having her relieve him half way through the night, and then waking up to her chipper summons. Starting the cooking fire was by no means as easy without her spells as well, yet during her 'time of the month' she'd been unable to do that little service so he luckily had not lost the piece of flint he kept, nor his memory on how to start a fire.

The trip to Zefeeria was not the same without the sorceress's usual chatter and banter. It was weird not having someone to talk to on the long trip. While on the one hand he was happy that he didn't have people pestering him over not blaming himself and was granted time to come to terms with Lina's death in his own way, he was unaccustomed to the long silence that pervaded his journey, silence that would not have been an issue had Lina still been alive and well. Gods, he missed her!

The days seemed to mesh and meld together as he traveled, lost in happier times tainted by the knowledge that he would never share such times with Lina again. All he had was her short sword, her Demon's Blood Talisman, earrings, gloves and his memories, none of which were Lina. It was with relief that he finally spotted the outskirts of a town lined with vineyards. It had to be Zefiel City. He quickened his pace, knowing full well that he had enough time to get there before sunset but he didn't want to risk it. He had to see Lina's family, had to tell them about what had happened and hear their judgment. It was the only solace he could think of to seek.

Zefiel City. It was rather beautiful, actually. Gourry wondered idly what could have possessed Lina to leave such a beautiful country, yet at the same time knew that the wanderer in her could never stay put for long. Gourry squinted as he saw a figure waiting on the outskirts of the town at the border of Zefiel City. Another traveler? He shrugged, and continued on.

As he got closer and closer, though, the more and more apprehensive he became as he realized that it seemed as though the person on the outskirts of the town was standing there waiting for him. He examined her closely, quite sure that he'd never seen her before in his life. Tall, with shoulder length purple hair and bangs that covered her eyes, she wore a knowing, mocking smile. She was dressed in a black dress that, though modest, failed in hiding her rather voluptuous figure, and wore a sword at her waist that Gourry found most curious. May be all women were trained in swordplay in Zefeeria.

"I've been waiting for you." She said as he approached.

Though he had been impatient to find Lina's family, Gourry stopped in his tracks, shocked, "What?" he asked.

"I hear that you're an excellent swordsman, all but undefeated. Well, I'm an excellent swordswoman, virtually undefeated. How about a match?"

Gourry shook his head, "I'm not here to fight. Thanks, though."

He continued on the road, slightly befuddled by the strange woman he'd met, and was even more befuddled as he realized she was following him, "No, I suppose such pissing contests seem rather petty now, don't they Gourry?"

Gourry stopped again, turning to stare at the woman, "How did you…" he knew his memory was bad with names and places, yet though he often claimed otherwise just to get a rise out of Lina he was good with remembering events and faces, and he knew he'd never met this woman before.

She shrugged nonchalantly, "The Ceipheid Knight has to know these things."

Gourry felt his jaw drop. She couldn't be Lina's sister, she just couldn't! Lina was short and boyishly slender, Luna was anything but! They looked nothing alike yet…yet something about the voice now that he thought about it. "What's your name." He asked.

"Luna. Luna Inverse." She said.

That settled it. She was definitely Lina's older sister. Gourry felt his heart speed up, realizing that he quest was now a lot more easier and that much closer to being completed, "I'm Gourry Gabriev," he started, feeling it was rather dumb saying so as Luna seemed to know everything anyway, yet he was going to be the epitome of chivalry in this one last deed for Lina! It was all that he could do for her now. "I've been traveling with your sister, Lina, for quite some time now and something happened and I'm afraid that I must speak with your parents."

Luna stared at him for a moment, her expression unreadable behind her ever-present smile, "Follow me, then."

She headed off down the road and Gourry followed her, confused. She had to know that Lina was dead, she was, as she had said, the Ceipheid Knight after all. Not only that, but she was also dressed in mourning, yet why didn't she show a hint of sorrow? Did she even care for her sister? Unbidden, Gourry felt his blood start to boil. Lina never did talk about her home very much, and the only thing that Gourry had known about Luna was that she was the only person Lina was scared of. Questions started to flood Gourry's mind, questions that demanded an immediate answer, whether or not it would have been a smart thing to ask them. "Did you hurt Lina?"

Luna shrugged, her expression unchanged, "You have an older brother, right? I imagine I treated Lina no differently than any other older sibling treats a younger sibling growing up. Oh, we had our fights and squabbles, the occasional black eye and such but I was no better nor any worse than any other big sister."

"Then why did she run away?" Gourry asked.

"Because no matter how powerful she was I was always more powerful than her. For all her bravado she was like any other teenager at heart, insecure. She needed to get out, find her own place in the world, not stay in my shadow."

"And you let her leave, alone, at such a young age?"

She shrugged in her indifferent manner that was starting to be the final blow to Gourry, "My parents didn't raise a daughter who couldn't take care of herself. Besides that, you know how stubborn she was. Did you think any of us could have stopped her, especially when it was something she needed so badly? And I kept an eye out on her."

Gourry's eyes narrowed, his voice unusually cold, a barely controlled yell, "Where were you then when things got real bad? Where were you when Goidbyn showed up? Why didn't you save her?"

Luna averted her gaze suddenly even as her smile remained, and Gourry felt the slight fires of victory rising only to dissipate as he realized that just as he blamed himself for Lina's death, Luna was doing the same, "Do you know how much she would have resented it if every time things looked to be getting too bad I stepped in and saved the day? I'd have stolen her legacy, for all the good it'd do, no one recognizes her as the girl who's saved the world five times over now. After she defeated Shabranigdo, something even I might not have been able to do without the Sword of Light, she had proved herself to be capable of handling whatever life threw at her. Besides, there were other, more prudent matters that needed handling, I couldn't look in on my baby sister all the time. And as for Goidbyn, well, I found out too late."

Gourry felt himself soften as he studied the Ceipheid Knight and found that despite the indifference that her voice projected she was just like him, really, able to succeed in everything excepting protecting the girl that had, in differing degrees, been under their care. May be the stony air of indifference was the mask that she wore to hide her feelings, just as Lina had worn a mask with all her bravado.

"You shouldn't blame yourself." Gourry said quietly.

"And neither should you." Luna said, and Gourry suddenly knew that she had let him see her in that light intentionally.

They were both silent as the vineyards faded away into buildings and the streets flooded with people. His thoughts flying, Gourry followed Luna along the twisting streets, barely aware of the surroundings that Lina had grown up among, surroundings he had been curious to see for some time. Heck, he'd even thought about asking to travel here on the day that she had died, to see the place she'd grown up at and to meet her family because in Elmekia a man did not propose to a woman until he had met her family, and though he had pretty much disinherited himself from his family, he still clang to his sense of honor. He wondered what she would have said, if she would have agreed or not. A few years ago he would have known what the answer would have been, but things had been changing between the two of them. Besides, she was still a little girl then with some growing up to do then. But now when she'd finally grown up, when she might have finally been ready…

Well, he'd ended up here all right, but not with such a happy prospect in his mind. Gourry felt his heart tighten at the dark turn that needing to see her family had taken but he did not feel discouraged. Nervous, yes, and uncomfortable now that he was in the presence of her sister, but not discouraged.

Luna finally headed to a store with a sign that read 'Inverse Food and Merchandise' and opened the door. Gourry followed close behind, noticing that it was rather small as stores go. Lina had mentioned once that there had been money problems within the family…may be that was why Luna had a part time job as a waitress…

Gourry felt his heart stop as he walked in. A woman with long, crimson red hair was restocking the shelves, using a Levitation spell to carry her up to the higher shelves. Petite and slender and…She turned around, and Gourry felt his heart sink. Not Lina. No, she had definitely borne a resemblance to her, yet her eyes were a definite shade of light blue and her face was a lot older. Lina's mother?

While Gourry tried to think of something to say to the redhead's questioning gaze, Luna turned the 'OPEN' sign over to 'CLOSE', "Where's Dad?" she asked.

"Over here." A familiar voice said, and Gourry felt his jaw drop as a man with black hair carrying a fishing rod over one shoulder came into the room, "Hello, Gourry."

 _He_ was Lina's father? He had indeed met the man before, heck, they had defeated a monster together, right before he had met Lina actually. This man had convinced him not to throw away the Sword of Light even! Gourry thought it so funny, now, thinking about how close he'd come to throwing it away. He'd had a lot to thank Lina's father for. If he had thrown it away, he never would have defeated Zorom, and Lina wouldn't have been able to have combined the Giga Slave with it to defeat Shabranigdo. The world could have been destroyed right then! His adventures with Lina would have ended prematurely for all that it mattered now… _It does matter,_ he told himself, _we had a lot of happy times together during those three years after Shabranigdo's defeat_. Though, much like Lina had, her father had begged him to give the Sword of Light to him when he found out what exactly it was that Gourry carried with him. And he had mentioned having two daughters, one of whom could cast the Elmekia Lance, which Lina was most certainly capable of doing. Gourry wondered why he'd not drawn the connection until now. "Hello, Mr. Inverse."

"Mom, Dad, meet Gourry Gabriev. He's been traveling with Lina for some time now apparently, and he has something to talk with you about." Luna said.

Lina's mother gasped, "It’s true, then? The rumors?" she asked, moving forward towards Gourry until Mr. Inverse put a hand on her shoulder. Gourry bowed his head and nodded solemnly."How?" she asked, her voice carrying a piercing desperation that chilled Gourry to the bone.

"I think we'd better move into the sitting room." Luna said, and without waiting to see the general consensus left. Lina's parents followed, trailed by Gourry who was currently wondering how he was going to explain what had happened to them.

When Lina's parents and Gourry were seated, and Luna was leaning comfortably against the doorframe with her knowing smile revealing nothing, Gourry dug into his travel sack and pulled out Lina's short sword and Demon's Blood Talisman and handed them to her parents. In Elmekia a child's possessions that helped them in battle were always returned to the child's parents when they died. Gourry had no idea how things were done in Zefeeria, but he felt it was a token of some solace to them. He thought for a moment, wondering where to begin, his previously prepared speech vanishing. "Four years ago I met your daughter facing down some bandits. I decided it would be a good idea to help her, and shortly afterwards I took it upon myself to become her protector."

"So, that's true at least." Luna said. "I wondered, Lina really wasn't the type to cling to others for protection."

Gourry shrugged nervously, "She wasn't. I thought she was defenseless, and when I learned otherwise, well, I'd made my promise."

"Let him talk, Luna." Lina's father said quietly, his desperate gaze never wavering from Gourry. Gourry shuddered, realizing just how close to tears the man was. He could not imagine losing a child. Losing Lina was hard enough, but his own child? Carefully he stole at glance at Lina's mother and wished that he hadn't. She looked so pale and shaken that he was afraid that she would fall over, yet her gaze was locked with his, and he knew that she would hang onto every word he said in order to find out what had happened to her daughter.

Taking a deep breath, Gourry recovered from where he had been interrupted, "During our travels together, Lina and I took down a lot of bad guys. I don't remember their names, really, just that they were really powerful and would have destroyed the world had Lina not used her super powerful magic on them. She's a hero, you know, she really is, not like the ones you hear about in legends may be, but a hero…" he trailed off, as if to convince himself as much as her parents. Finally he spoke again, "Yet when we were on our way to Seyruun we were attacked by Goidbyn. He was targeting me for a deathblow when Lina placed herself between us while maintaining the Ragna Blade at the same time. She took him down, but he took her with him, on my account. I tried to get her to Seyruun, to a healer there in time, but it was too late. I'm sorry."

His voice had cracked close to the end, but he had managed to tell them everything they needed to know. Luna remained at the doorway, her smile still plastered to her face yet somehow looking contemplative. Lina's parents had taken each other's hands, knuckles white from clenching so hard. Both were crying soft tears. They had known, Luna had told them, but they had held out hope that she was wrong. Now, however, there was no denying it. Lina would never be coming home again.

"I'm sorry I failed her," Gourry added quietly, "And that I failed you."

Gourry waited, preparing himself for the verbal bombardment that was sure to follow but was surprised as Lina's mother said firmly but kindly, "No, sweetheart."

"What?" Gourry asked, confused.

"You didn't fail anyone," Luna said, her voice mocking in its knowledge, "I mean my sister wouldn't put herself in harm's way for just anyone. She also wouldn't have been stupid enough to get all heroic and sacrificial for no reason. She wanted you to live, just like you wanted her to live. She was just in a better position to get her wish, so get over it and move on with your life."

Gourry bit his tongue at the harsh tone of her words, hating the fact even more that she had a point. "Yet what should I do with my life?"

"Tell me more about my daughter," Lina's mother said, "All I'd ever hear about was how destructive she was whenever she tried to help out. You said she was a hero, I want to know about what made her a hero."

Gourry squirmed in his seat, "I really don't remember the names or places…"

"Do you think that those are important?" her father asked, "Names behold no meaning other than what we assign to them. It's the deeds that make the person, or the event, and we want to know about those deeds."

Gourry thought for a long while, lost in his own uncertainties over story telling when he lacked the words to convey the images that painted his mind. Besides that, where should he begin? They had been through so much together…finally, slowly at first but with growing confidence as he felt himself carried on the tide of his memories that he told with more interest and accuracy than anyone would have thought him capable of, he began, "Well, after I sort of rescued her from some bandits, we went out to eat at this restaurant that a dragon attacked…"

* * *

 

Gourry left the Inverse household the next morning with a bit of a weight lifted off of his shoulders. Lina's family had not blamed him, and maybe he shouldn't blame himself. That, and he now knew what he needed to do: preserve Lina's memory.

He still missed Lina terribly, and he knew that he always would, that the ache in his heart would always be there, yet there wasn't anything he could do about that now. Her mother was right when she had said that all you heard about Lina was the negative things. Few knew her as the woman who had saved the world five times over. May be if he told enough people her story that would change. And may be whenever he told her story, a part of her would come back to life. He would protect her like he always had, but not her body anymore. He would protect her memory and see that it would live on beyond his, and Ceipheid help those who would stand in his way!

FINIS


End file.
